Al old story in a new blog!!!

The Window To My World


My life was sane, happy and contended. I thought i had all i ever
wanted , all that could ever please me and then suddenly SHE entered
and iam left wanting.The rudenes of the shock that i experienced
when i lost myself in what is an ocean of music,an ocean of love
shattered all the beliefs that were once a part of my self - which so
far i thought was under my control.

Yes - little does man realize that he has very little control over
himself and his deeds and more importantly his love.The experience
is, at once both frightening and invigorating and very alarmingly i
find myself wanting more of those utopian minutes.Life
has ,yes,changed and irrevocably at that.

I was the insane old Ashok- the one you have all come to know and
that was one of those nightmarish parties where you were supposed to
know everybody but knew none.The futility of such parties lies in
the fact that the best option for you is to remain aloof,inhale the
music and enjoy the food that is on offer and yet the host will not
allow you to do the same.

The day was pleasant and i was enjoying myself - taking the
oppurtunity to be alone for a few minutes. I took one of those
vantage points in the party-dark but yet providing a clear view of
the entire party and its varied guests.And it did help - the fact
that there were some very
"gawkable" people out there.


I was very discretely enjoying the covert glances ,the all too
familiar "i remember your face but your name escapes my memeory"
phrase
which in effect means "i do not remember you" and of course indulging
myself every now and then in some banal conversation if only to
please my altruistic host.I usually clothe myself with colours not
too bright but that was not one of those days.The yellow t-shirt and
the blue jeans wasnt the perfect disguise if you wanted to be left
alone.Every few minutes there was somebody out there who decided it
was time to get to know this geek dressed in a bright outfit and
there ends my privacy.


And everytime somebody walked up to me introducing themselves i
feigned happiness and i suppose so did they.But somehow my day kept
getting worse.


And then it HAPPENED.

It was an accident.But then again most monumental things are
incidentally accidental.I was having my pav bhaji and moving around
to get some more of it when a dark red churidar caught my eye.I
turned towards it twisting my neck leftwards still continuing my
gallop towards the food.I was suddenly halted ---and being forced to
retrace my eyes----------alas i had banged right into someone.


The bright plain blue saree that now had some orange spots on it
caught my attention.My immediate words of apology were lost for she
was least interested in hearing me. She wasnt even slightly
displeased that her saree had gotten stained-----in fact she seemed
pleased.Her cherubic smile melted me and i was left speechless.Her
first words were " Lets go get some PAV.It tastes great. By the way I
am ......" and the next many minutes were a rapid recollection of the historical events preceeding her presence in the party that night.



She was her buoyant self the rest of the day and she showed me a
whole new world - a world where all that mattered was joy and
pleasure.If only i had known how those moments were to transform my
life--if only i had known the profound impact those moments had-------
---but alas i didnt know the future,i couldnt know the future.

We were quick to realize that we had found each other.And now that we
had , there was no time to waste----there were things to be taught -
to be learnt and this bantering was definitely not going to help.We
finished our meal and immediately she took charge -- took charge of
my life----took charge of our life.She seemed totally in her elements
and experienced in this sort of thing.Very politely and succintly she
sweettalked our host into allowing us the liberty of using one of his
rooms downstairs.


What was i walking into?I didnt as much as know her for an hour and i
was willing to follow her , to obey her instructions. But inwardly i
wanted to talk -- to talk freely with her and what she was providing
was a perfect opportunity.She led me down--- a master player
controlling her puppet.Was i in a trance?was i hypnotised?i'd heard
of all these things and my views about these were always one of
skeptism.But that day i really knew what a trance felt like.

"Climbing down is the only way to Climb up" they say.And yes it is
true.We climbed down 2 floors to enter the host's well furnished room
where again she surprised me with her alacrity.She made me some tea
and we sat there sipping the tea-- talking about various issues----
none important.